To speak or not to speak?

² And Pilate asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” And he answered him, “You have said so.” ³ And the chief priests accused him of many things. ⁴ And Pilate again asked him, “Have you no answer to make? See how many charges they bring against you.” ⁵ But Jesus made no further answer, so that Pilate was amazed. Mark 15:2-5. ESV

The Scriptures have much to say about controlling the tongue, mostly how hard it is.  We are told in James that no one can tame the tongue,  Both blessing and cursing come from our lips,  Each of us can think of times in which we wish that we had kept silent.  The proverbs record that even a fool is thought wise if he remains silent.  How do we know when to speak and when to remain quiet?

In America, the right to free speech seems to trump the scriptures.  Some would think that they have a right to say whatever they want to say, whenever they want to say it, to whomever they want.  To deny them this freedom is to take away their rights, or so they think.  However, the Miranda rights state that we also have the right to remain silent.  Again, how do we determine when to remain silent?

We are “living beings”.  This means that life is in constant motion, so there is not one answer that fits every situation.  But there are some guiding principles that can be helpful in knowing when to keep quiet.  First, learn to breathe.  Before responding to someone, learn to count three good breaths. The process of counting your breathing, lets your “will” step back into first place.  Now you have an opportunity to make good choices.  Do you really want to say what you are about to say?  Is it hurtful, is it damaging, is it degrading, is it the truth, or is it gossip and slandering?  Questions like these can be asked if we pause long enough to count our breathing.

Secondly, learn to follow the voice and nudging of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus said that Holy Spirit is a guide and teacher for all occasions.  As a man on earth, Jesus was totally dependent on the Holy Spirit to lead and guide him.  In Mark we read that immediately after Jesus was baptized, the Spirit directed him to go into the wilderness for 40 days where he was tempted by Satan.  Jesus was in constant communion with the Holy Spirit.  Jesus said on the day we go into court, don’t worry about what we will say, for the Spirit will guide us.  Ask God for ears to hear the Spirit, then begin to follow His guidance by faith.

Lastly, trust the process of repentance and confession.  We all make mistakes and say things that were hurtful and sinful.  BUT, we don’t always follow through with the steps of repentance.  Confession before God makes us own up to our failures.  How many of us are like Adam, “I wouldn’t have said what I did, if she hadn’t said something to me first.”  That is not confession that is blame shifting.  We must learn to tell God that we are sorry for not being able to control what came out of mouth.  We need to take responsibility for our actions that were spiteful and wrong.  Then we may need to follow that confession by asking forgiveness from the one who we offended.  Say something like this, “I am sorry for what I said to you.  I was wrong.  Will you please forgive me.?”  Humbling ourselves like this puts a marker in our memory.  This marker reminds us the next time we are about to say something wrong….hold up and slow down.  The marker helps us remember the pain of the last event and redirects us to choose another path.  Confession is good for the soul, because God cleanses us from the oppression of sin.

Be encouraged.  If Jesus remained silent, you can learn to do this also.  As Christians we have been given the mind of Christ.  Let us think before we speak and we may learn the art of remaining silent.